Jack and Jerry

In a car.

Jerry. I have dilemma.

Jack. Shoot.

Jerry. I’ve amassed a fair amount knowledge on how to ride a bike.

Jack. of course you have.

Jerry. What I’m trying to figure out is the duration needed to automate my knowledge.

Jack puts down what he was doing.

Jack. Okay, I’ll bite. You mean how long it takes to learn how to ride a bike?

Jerry. I already know how from my degree in physics. Planck scale is the smallest measurable Cube of Space-Time.

Jack. Do I need to be napping for this?

Jerry. So… What I do is, I, infuse my knowledge into those cubes repeatedly for a certain duration of these units, aka Time. What’s the duration needed? How many Times do I repeat the infusion? That’s my dilemma.

Jack. First, you’re crazy. Second, you just feel it.

Jerry. What do you mean?

Jack. You just keep “infusing” or applying your knowledge until you feel it.

Jerry. What if the repercussions of this are violent?

Jack. If you slam your face into the pavement you just get up and keep going.

Jerry. How long do I maintain the automation.

Jack. You don’t stop. Even if the doctor is telling you right to your face, “Jerry, stop using your face as a break pad to slow your body down.”

Jerry. I probably won’t use my face

Jack. Even if they send helicopters to hover above you and scream, “Stop using your Face to slow your body down.”

Jerry. What’s the duration, Jack!

Jack calms himself.

Jack. The duration finds you, dude.

Jerry. But, what if I’m a moron? Will duration ever find me?

Jack. You’re not a moron, you’re an idiot, there’a difference.

Jerry. Let’s say I’m a moron.

Jack. Let’s say I don’t pretend. “if” you’re a moron then duration takes it’s sweet time. But, ya know, what if really that Moron is just interested in “salad” instead of “bikes” and duration takes longer for people that don’t give a shit.

Jerry. I give a shit!

Jack. We know. Watch your language.

Jerry. So, are you going to arrest me or am I just going to sit here in your police car?

Jack. Am I the bike?

Jerry. Freedom is the bike, Jack.

Jack. Procedure is the experience of riding the bike.

Jerry. Now can I go?

Jack. I see… Do you feel it?

Jerry. Duration?

Jack. You feel you got it?

Jerry. I Am it.

Jack. You exist.

Jerry. Not in your car I don’t.

Jack. You’re right. Get out.

Jerry. Thanks. Say hi to mom.

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The Law

Some Guy – But, your honor, I thought the red light was just a suggestion.

Judge – well it’s not, it’s the law.

Guy – if it’s law then how was I able to break it so easily?

Judge – what.

Guy – As you know, sir, something that is absolute law is impervious to counter suggestions. Your word is final and I obviously respect absolute Truth. I suggested that this law unobserved was just a suggestion by slamming through it violently with my FORD TRUCK. And it’s only because of my discovery that this law was a suggestion that I’m here now talking with you. You’re more like the wizard that sits behind a curtain in Oz. Hi, I’m Dorothy, and your suggestions to manipulate my life into total devotion are just absolute suggestions in reality and have run their course. You’re dismissed, your honor.

Judge – I see, so just pay the fine then?

Guy – Yeah, that’s cool.

Gavel falls.